Mass Hypnosis

There is a whole field of study most people call economics. Now, economics has a lot of various specializations and cross-disciplinary subjects that come under this field, too, but basically, economics is a vast, complex area of study in which some of the smartest people on the planet crunch numbers, form theories, check back with the data to confirm those theories, test methods of control, investigate causes and effects of certain conditions and events, etc, etc, etc -- all to make sure we don't get seriously screwed. Now if you check the news, you'll see that the whole endeavor just isn't working very well. All these smart people have obviously been smoking crack over the last 10 years or so. I know a few of these crack smokers, and I asked one of them, 'So... ummmm... What the eff?' He told me the banks have no money. 'Well, that's easy,' I said. 'Just give 'em some.' (You'll recall Mr. Government did that a few months ago.) 'No,' he replied, 'the problem is that they have never had enough money. What they need is confidence. Confidence that they have enough money, even though they don't and never will.' Being an expert in self-delusion, my mind really started working. I said, 'Oh. How about a big Tony Robbins seminar? Or Scientology can help, can't it? After all, it helped Tom Cruise learn to read. This economy thing is small potatoes. How about one of those hypnotists who can improve your self esteem and maybe help you remember where you put your 8th grade diploma? Or we'll get one of those funny hypnotists who gets a good looking girl out of a crowd and makes her think it's 90 degrees on stage and she really ought to remove her sweater.' The economic expert / crack smoker had very little to say after that. He must have been impressed with my logic.

So being the deep thinker that I am, I decided this principle can be applied almost universally, not just to banking. If you know a guy who lost his job, just tell him he's a swell guy and maybe tell him that he looks trim and youthful. He may wake up the next morning gainfully employed. This morning I gave a kind word to the homeless guy who grabs bundles of free newspapers and tries to sell them to passersby while also pretending to direct traffic. I told him he performs a valuable service. He smiled and waved his hand enthusiastically to let a bunch of cars go by -- cars that, admittedly, he had stopped for no reason. Still, I have a feeling something good's gonna come from that guy now.

So let's all do the same. Give each other confidence. Compliment your fellow human being. And extend it beyond mere labor and economics. Tell him/her that s/he's special, important, interesting, good, kind, talented. Just lie.