State-of-the-Art Time-Freezing Vision Emulation Device

It's not in our nature to report on our personal lives, but the crack team here at Pterodactyl Puke have made a large capital purchase and mastered a new and abstruse technology at the same time. This goes well beyond the esoteric secrets of the Electronic Internets. We now have a non-telephone contraption that captures and stores images. I am not lying about this, nor even slightly exaggerating. What you see above is a view of my desk, along with some deftly placed product advertising for which we are not receiving moneys, nor are the respective producers of said products even aware of their presence in the image. But it is our aim to leverage and exploit this new technology for moneys in the future, and maybe to steal the souls of frightened animals.