Where, oh where have we been?

I am sure the tens of you out there have been wondering, just where the in the sam hill are these foos? (l left out on purpose). Let me break it down for you. One angry member got hooked on the wacky tobacky and spent some time upstate. Another member welcomed 2 new members to his wolfpack and just can't honor any time related commitments. The 3rd member is still reeling from Hillary losing to Barack. And me, well, let's just say I forgot. I did! But then I remembered, then I forgot again, then I remembered and yadda yadda yadda (I did not yadda over the best part). Some of us are back, back in black, hitting the sack, a one way ticket.....

Guess Lou Dobbs's Hat Size

Okay, what shipyard would be required for the construction of a sombrero for this guy's melon? How many men and how much scaffolding? How many trees would have to be killed to make enough paper on which to draw the blueprint? What positive, stimulative effects would there be on the economy if such a thing were attempted?

In other words, what is Lou Dobbs's hat size?

Give us your best guess and win our Guess Lou Dobbs's Hat Size Contest.

First place receives a million American dollars.**

Send us your guesses to thisisnotarealcontest@thisisnotarealemailaddress.com, and please, please, remember to include enough zeros in your first guess as these are not Price is Right rules.

**Legal department note: Anybody who tries to claim a prize must understand that we have no intention of honoring any commitments we may or may not have made. Our CFO wears edible underwear, for god's sake, and all our corporate meetings are held in the back of a pickup truck in Costa Rica. Upper management is right now involved in a Ponzi scheme that will bankrupt several Caribbean nations, so give it your best shot.