Barb Dwyer reported on
Charles Barkley’s DUI arrest a while ago, along with a hilarious comment on something Sir Charles said, and it got me thinking. This weekend, as we wait for the big inauguration, it seems like we just don’t have enough juicy news. And what are we going to do afterward? I mean, a
rash of celebrity DUIs is cool, but they're just fleeting joys, sticks of peppermint gum that lose their flavor too quickly. I really think we need a celebrity murder trial to keep us interested in the doings of other people. And instead of OJ killing some non-celebrity and her non-celebrity lover, I think we need to involve two or more celebrities. It may not just happen on its own, so we’ll need to help it along. For example, I’ve been sending emails to Ryan Seacrest, telling him that Rachel Ray called him an infantile homo hack with girl-lips. For those of you who want to get involved and take some real action, I think you should start contacting the cast of
Lost and tell them that Al Pacino joined the
FLN and blames them for the French occupation of Algeria until 1962 and that it would be very hard to reason with him. I’ve also left a message at former UN ambassador Richard Holbrooke’s office stating that Gary Coleman thinks his mother is a fat dead old lady with a hairy neck.
Barb Dwyer reported on Charles Barkley’s DUI arrest a while ago, along with a hilarious comment on something Sir Charles said, and it got me thinking. This weekend, as we wait for the big inauguration, it seems like we just don’t have enough juicy news. And what are we going to do afterward? I mean, a rash of celebrity DUIs is cool, but they're just fleeting joys, sticks of peppermint gum that lose their flavor too quickly. I really think we need a celebrity murder trial to keep us interested in the doings of other people. And instead of OJ killing some non-celebrity and her non-celebrity lover, I think we need to involve two or more celebrities. It may not just happen on its own, so we’ll need to help it along. For example, I’ve been sending emails to Ryan Seacrest, telling him that Rachel Ray called him an infantile homo hack with girl-lips. For those of you who want to get involved and take some real action, I think you should start contacting the cast of Lost and tell them that Al Pacino joined the FLN and blames them for the French occupation of Algeria until 1962 and that it would be very hard to reason with him. I’ve also left a message at former UN ambassador Richard Holbrooke’s office stating that Gary Coleman thinks his mother is a fat dead old lady with a hairy neck.
2 comments:
I've been a bit bored lately. If you need any help rabble rousing, I'd be glad to volunteer.
@Hawg - You'd like to join our army of volunteers? Excellent. At this rate, our ranks will have swelled to 3 by February.
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