Mets Show Interest in Shoe Thrower

The New York Mets are reportedly interested in signing Muntadar al-Zaidi to round out their rotation. The New York Metropolitans could use a guy with some spunk, a little zest, a guy who knows what a Baghdad prison is like – a guy who can actually throw. Al-Zaidi hurled himself (and his shoes) into the spotlight last week when he basically acted out what the world was thinking and hucked a pair of shoes at President George W. Bush.



Said Mets General Manager Omar Minaya, 'We liked him even before the shoe incident because we heard he was some random dude and that he had a pulse. Well, we couldn't verify the pulse thing, but we were pretty certain he was some random dude, and that really piqued our interest. Now that we see he can control his throwing action and actually repeat his delivery, we've decided to have him start opening day. We'll put a picture of Bush in the catcher's mitt to help him along, and we've promised to behead all Sunnis and Kurds on the team before next Ramadan. You know, kind of a signing bonus.'

The famed shoe-thrower Mr. al-Zaidi could hardly have been restrained when he responded to the interest by Minaya and the Mets ownership -- if he wasn't already restrained by head-to-toe shackles and the iron bars of his dark, musty cell. 'In Saddam's time, this was a very lucrative job,' said al-Zaidi, bubbling with enthusiasm. 'People skilled in the art of choking would be paid very well. I miss those days. Now in New York City Queens they pay twenty-five men millions of American dollars every year to be Choke Artists.'

Sources say that right-handed pitcher Tim Redding has been thinking of having a go at Prime Minister of Canada Stephen Harper. But for now, he's just practicing throwing his Birkenstocks at passing traffic in his hometown of Rochester.