Monday, April 13, 2009

Ptero Thoughts (or real pirates aren't like Johnny Depp!)

1) Pirates! Really...pirates! What the hell is going on with this world? Not only is the financial world collapsing back to the 1800's (that is your Angry Max economy fix for the day), we now can't sail around Africa without Somali pirates attacking us. I've been to Disney World recently and I'm telling you that pirates are fun, scallywags. Johnny Depp wouldn't threaten the Skipper from Gilligan's Island in a million years. And these new pirates have machine guns and I haven't seen a parrot yet. I think we need to return to traditional, pirate family values. I want sword fights, eye patches and funny accents. In exchange the U.S. will provide them with some booty. (Paging Kim Kardashian...)

2)Obama bowed to a Saudi King?!?! Let's get one thing perfectly clear: Obama bowed. Watch the video. He either bowed or he had some sort of mini-stroke just before he shook the king's hand. Robert Gibbs, White House Spokesman says that the President was just reaching to shake the king's hand. That is complete bull. I have no problem with Obama making a mistake and screwing up the bowing protocol. My problem is that the White House screwed up the first rule of screw ups. When you blow it, admit your mistake and move on. The story is still kicking because Gibbs didn't just say whoops, we messed up!

3)Where is Angry Max? Yes, it is 10 days since Angry Max posted. So, why isn't he posting anymore? Well, I have a few theories. Theory #1: I murdered Angry Max last week. I was jealous of his ability to crank out new posts everyday, so I made him eat McDonald's every meal until he was so bloated his insides burst out in a multi-colored display of guts and Mcnuggets. Theory #2: Angry Max is serving a stretch at the local medium security penitentiary. His past of transvestite hooking finally caught up with him. It isn't easy selling your body in this economy. Sometime the false eyelashes just aren't long enough. Theory #3: He is pissed off that the stock market is climbing again. To know Angry Max is to know an enormous pessimist. He is so into the economy crumbling, he is devastated when the market ticks upward. He is currently in a cave with his Karl Marx daily reader collection waiting for Socialism's next big chance. Theory #4: Angry Max is just a dick.

4)Mel Gibson is getting divorced. I am a catholic. I am a pretty good one, but if what I read is correct, I am nowhere near as good a Catholic as Mel Gibson. He is a new and improved, extra-strength Catholic. Last time I checked, divorce is a BIG catholic no-no. I am not sure that a couple of Jesus movies is gonna get Mel out of this one. The word 'hypocrite' comes to mind for some reason.

5) Phil Spector is guilty of murder. I really don't know who Phil Spector is. I think that I should know who he is, but I don't. Something to do with music, right? Well, he looks like a pure nut. That's enough for me. Fry him.

6) Did I mention that Angry Max is a dick?
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james w said...

i love that phil spector photo, legendary hair.

Anonymous said...

Aren't good Catholics against the death penalty?

Revel said...

My Fro was never as impressive as Spector's.

Meg said...

You don't know who Phil Spector is? You're kidding, right? Please tell me you're kidding.

Ed said...

I have concluded...Angrymax is a dick and must be fryed (you owe me...). Perhaps we could fry Mel Gibson instead; that'll simplify the divorce process

robkroese said...

That's some nice booty.

Didn't Phil Spector do the backup vocals in Eddie Money's "Take Me Home Tonight"?

Bobby V said...

As of Today:

Yankees: 9-6
Mets: 6-9

Conclusion? Mets suck!!

Funny Videos said...

Really Funny post

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