Friday, February 20, 2009

What Sucks About the Oscars....

Sunday brings the 81st Annual Academy Awards. I'm a total mark for the Oscars but for a guy who loves movies as much as I do, there is plenty to hate about the never ending evening of glitz and glamour. First off, the whole pre-show shenanigans. I wouldn't mind if they actually asked questions that made any sense. Instead of hearing what Sean Penn is wearing, wouldn't you rather find out if got he even a little chubbed up making out with that dude in Milk? I will say this, seeing the freak show that is Joan Rivers does entertain me for a brief moment. What the hell is going on with her face? They should find a way to get Travis the Chimp back up and running and let that crazy ape loose on her grill.

Next, the host. I liked Jon Stewart last year but most of the time they roll out some comedian or Whoopie and it's all hype. They really have nothing to do. This year we get Hugh Jackman. Wolverine. Fuck this guy and his fruity antics. Unless he walks out there and pops the claws -- snikt! snikt! -- I've got no use for him. I mean, Bruce Springsteen gets snubbed for his song but I will have to watch this fairy hop around singing some medley. Bullshit.

Last, get rid of all the technical awards. Every other awards show does it, so can you. All I care about are director, actors, actresses, picture, screenplay and song depending on the year. The rest -- no need to show. We don't know the people, we won't remember them and their getting the early play off the stage has grown old.

As for some predictions:
Best Picture - One word: Slumdog. Sunday should and better be all about Slumdog Millionaire. It's the best film of the year. I don't want to hear about The Reader pulling an upset.

Best Director - A super strong field, all very deserving but I think Danny Boyle will win for Slumdog.

Best Actor - I am going to go with Sean Penn for Milk. Many people are pulling for Mickey Rourke here, and whereas I think he was excellent in The Wrestler, I have to agree with Howard Stern in that I think he was playing virtually a version of himself. This is a two-dog race and Penn gets my nod.

Best Actress - The odds seem to sit with Kate Winslet, and I think she will probably win but I am going to be rooting for Meryl Streep for Doubt. A great little movie that seems to have gotten a bit ignored outside of the nods for its actors. She is the class of this category and had the best showing this year.

Best Supporting Actor - Heath Ledger. Will win and should win. Amazing, amazing performance. Gave me chills. I also loved Robert Downey, Jr. in Tropic Thunder but this is Ledger's award.

Best Supporting Actress - If somehow having a great ass and sweet tits wins you an award, then Marissa Tomei should get an acceptance speech ready. But something tells me Penelope Cruz will win. Honorable mention nod to Viola Davis in Doubt for the best showing by snot this year.

A few other notes - Wall-E will win for animated picture but could have earned a best picture nod in my opinion. One of the best movies this year and had a great message. I hope Presto wins for animated short, The Dark Knight wins something, and somehow Springsteen's The Wrestler wins even though it's not nominated. Bullshit.
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4 comments:

Angry Max said...

You are so wrong on Wall-E. I was so bored with that movie, I pulled out a pad and worked on math problems in the theater.

Anonymous said...

I hate the fucking Oscars because they only nominate boring movies. Who the hell wants to pay 10 dollars to see a boring ass movie like the Reader?

Brother's Keeper said...

I think the world needs more, not less fruity antics!

T-Rex said...

T-Rex...about to go 5-for-5 on the big awards if slumdog comes home.

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