Ptero Thoughts (or how Arod's Man Boobs are on my mind!)

1) I am offended by Arod: Reason #1: the aforementioned man boobs. Have you seen these things? He looks like a Ken doll on stero....uh...well...ok Arod's a jerk for taking steroids. Reason #2: Madonna?!?!? Really?!?!? If you are rich, famous and you have awesome man boobs, are you really looking to tag Madonna? You can make an argument for Madonna circa 1984, but you can't even contemplate Madonna 2009. She looks like she opened the Ark of the Covenant. Arod, be like every other baseball player and get busy with the roadie-skank who sits outside your hotel in Detroit. Reason #3: He is a Yankee. Dick.

2) Michael Phelps: I am not a fan of the illegal drugs. I am also not a fan of big, horse mouths, but I am willing to give Phelps a pass on both. The dude has won 14 gold medals!! 14!! He is a huge dummy for hitting a bong in front of douchey people with cell phone cameras looking to make a buck. Let's be honest, the man is no genius. Have you heard him talk? Did you see him on SNL? I don't think Steve Jobs has to worry about the next big thing coming from the big goon in Speedos.

3)Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg: I like her. I think she personally willed the cancer in her body to stay dormant until Obama was sworn in. She seems like a tough cookie and I think she would not allow herself to die as long as that Republican yutz, Bush, was still in office. Now that Obama is in, she can let go. I hope she doesn't and kicks cancer's ass.

4) The Grammy's: Honestly, I don't know one person who is up for a Grammy. I don't know who Coldplay is. I don't care if P-Diddy gets a flesh eating disease.

5) Today's hottest chicks list (Sexist, sure...sexy, you bet!): 1) Julianne Hough, 2) Rachel Bilson, 3) Kristen Bell. This list is irrefutable.